So I waited until now to write this, because I had a sort of small meltdown today……and I didn’t want my whole post to be a complete bitch fest about what was bothering me. Let’s just say I am constantly disappointed by people’s behaviors and usually in the past I would feel completely emotional and hurt and wonder what “I” did to cause them to behave in whatever way they did that showed disrespect and hurt my feelings. Lately I have been doing a really good job of setting boundaries and instead of doing the whole “what did I do?” routine, I just get completely and utterly pissed off, I vent (mostly to myself) and then, if it is someone close to me, I speak my mind to them in a kind and gentle way and move on. I try really hard to move on, whether they choose to at least see my point of view and take note of it, or they make excuses and give me reasons why they are right…..it does neither of us any good to continue, I can agree to disagree, but at that moment I know I have learned something big. I hear that voice of my dear Aunt Frances in my head, “Do NOT engage Chou Chou” that is what she always said to me and it took me years to understand.
So, what do I do when I am feeling this way? Well, I don’t go into the studio because I can’t concentrate and feel creative, so I do the one thing that over the past 2 years really soothes my soul. I go out and groom my horse. Her name is Morgan Frances and we found each other over 2 years ago…..me, the person who said, “Nope, no horses for me…too much work.” We live on a small farm and have 3 dogs, 11 cats, 2 steers, 6 hens, a rooster, a tortoise and a dove.
2 years ago, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to help out at a barn she was working at and I agreed. That is where I met her. The girl who owned her had rescued her. She had been an event horse for many years and then got into the wrong hands and was starved….this girl took her and got her back in shape, but it had become too time consuming and expensive for her. As soon as we looked at each other it was love at first site. She will be 30 this summer, and although I choose not to ride her, we do have a very strong bond. She is sweet, kind, curious and pretty funny too.
Going out to groom her and massage and do reiki on her (Her favorite) helps me center, and clear my head…..works every time.
Tonight as I was heading out to run a few errands, she made sure she peeked in on me to see if I was feeling better. How can you not feel better when this happens
Yes, thank you Morgan, I am fine thanks to you.