Well, here we are again, and although there were so many things buzzing through my head today about what to write, I am now sitting here and it’s radio silence. Does that happen to you too? I have so much to say and discuss and share and my ADD has my head spinning everywhere and now, when I have the quiet time to sit and write…nothing….zilch…nada.
It can be very frustrating trying to get my thoughts in order. My creative mind is all over the map…..and then I think, “Oh, yes, I can write about such and such” but the thing is…Do people really want to hear about all this stuff in my head? Is there something there for them to take away for themselves?
Yesterdays blog was something I really wanted to put out there. I don’t even know if I got across what I was trying to say. Yeah, now everyone knows my overflowing love for my grandson, but what I was really trying to get across was this….everyone talks about “soulmates” and I think most of us think that that person is a romantic partner (I always thought so myself) But now I know that they come in all different shapes and sizes and creatures…human and animal alike. And of course there are many we end up meeting in our lives. so I could have just written that, but well, I tried to explain it from my perspective.
And then I think that when I sit down to write, it’s like a great big purge…….a mind dump if you will. Not the same as morning pages (anyone who knows The Artist’s Way knows what I am speaking of) But more of a reflective thought process, saying this is how I feel and why.
Sometimes I think I get carried away and write too much and it ends up being way too long, but there it is…it seems my over extroverted blabbermouth self that I was as a kid just comes along and takes over. I am much more of an introvert these days..where once you couldn’t keep me in the house for anything…..now I would much rather be at home in my own little space. At one time I wouldn’t miss a party, event or anything that had to do with socializing….I just wanted to be out there, meeting new people, having fun, dancing and just general mischief. These days I much rather get together with my “small tribe” when time allows. I no longer do “small talk” or anything of the sort. Don’t get me wrong, I am still the person who will smile and compliment a stranger, hold the door open, help someone in the supermarket who seems to be in need. I just feel more “centered” and calm and the need to be out there looking for ???? whatever it is I was looking for is gone.
I attribute a lot of that centered calmness to my husband and all my animals, my family, my dear friends and the beautiful place I call home. But I think most of all I attribute it to actually knowing who I am and liking it.
That has been a very long and tumultuous road, with lots of twists and turns, sadness and heartbreak…..but here I am on the other side…..and I am liking it.